Dr Hilary Jones to Turn Down Role as Next Doctor Who
Housewives favourite and serial womaniser Dr. Hilary Jones has sensationally turned down the role as the next Doctor Who.
Jones, famous for his ‘sizzling’ bedside manner, told us from his surgery in Dalston: ‘It’s every Doctor’s dream to become Doctor Who. I mean, what an accolade. It would certainly have made all those affairs I had with rich divorcee’s worthwhile! But no, I’m happy in Dalston helping people overcome colds and Chlamydia. I can’t get myself into any more silly bother here, as long as I keep it in my trousers.’
Ex Doctor Who star Christopher Ecclestone told us: ‘I’m not surprised he’d turned it down, he was always popular with the birds wasn’t he? I remember him having a 4 way with Anne Diamond, Gloria Hunniford, Kathy from Eastenders and Eamon Holmes. Hey, don’t laugh - Eamon was a good looking lad in his day.’
Reminiscing fondly, Mr. Ecclestone went on: ‘When I first started in acting, Hilary was the go-to-guy for pretty much anything. But I’ve heard he’s calmed right down since then. Just the one Missus now, so I’ve heard.’
Doctor Who writer Russel Tovey told us: ‘We want to continue the tradition of plucking GP’s from obscurity and propelling them to stardom. It’s fair to say we were more than a little disappointed with Hilary Jones saying no, but I’m sure he’s got his reasons.’
The search for the next Doctor Who across Doctor’s surgery’s nationwide continues.